your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
