I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
