nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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