he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
