There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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