i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
