She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
