I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we have officially lost it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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