They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
