He is an equal opportunity slut.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
