I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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