Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
