I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
