I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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