The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
