Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize