I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
