And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize