I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
