i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
