So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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