She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
