me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
