i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
