Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
