Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
