Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
