I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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