If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
