I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
did you just send me my own nude
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
