He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize