I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
