Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
