i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
