We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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