just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
