I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I wish i was in the wii world.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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