I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
