At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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