she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
