Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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