I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm like, not good at living.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
