she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize