3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
