i just wanna soil my oats bro
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
