I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
