So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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