sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
