I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
