So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
