dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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