Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
