please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i will never coherently bang her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think your dad took our porno
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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