my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize