Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
