The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
