Soap is not a condiment
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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