So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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