We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
