apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
