i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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