i was rollin on her like bob the builder
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
