Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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